Family Papi

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Have you reflected lately? 

I try to reflect on matters daily, as it’s good to take a step back from the everyday and reflect.  But honestly, it’s hard, especially these days – the start of the holiday season. 

In a recent business trip, though, I took the opportunity to do so and ended up writing a note, a special note to someone that means the world to me.

So today, let’s reflect on that person – the person who makes you the prosperous family dad that you are now – your wife – your significant other.

Think about her for a moment.

Think about the time you were dating her and how you fell head over heals for her.  You spent more time with her and less with your friends because you made her a priority.

Think about how special she is now that you’ve been with her for awhile and the things that she does everyday. 

When was the last time you complimented her? 

How long ago has it been since you’ve given her a gift, written her a note, or spend extended time with her?

Is she still a priority for you? 

To make sure, let’s think about what can you do or help her with to make her happy.

A good way to do that is to make a list of The Top 3 Things She Would Appreciate.

Don’t know what they are?  Pay attention to her every day needs. 

If she needs you to:

• support her in her career, support her and help her without any complaints
• provide for her and the kids, provide for her and bring home the bacon with a smile
• clean after yourself, make sure you do so for you and for any mess at home
• come home earlier from work, make room in the schedule in order to be able to do that.
• do the “honey to-do list”, do it or pay someone else to do it
• get her away from the kids or the everyday, use your imagination and set something up for a getaway with just the two of you.

The point is – find out what she needs and then do more than what she expects.

Treat her as what she is – your #1 customer. Make her happy – love her by your actions.

You already know how to prosper as a family dad: prosper those around you.  In the case of your wife, prosper her first.

Can you imagine how she would feel if you did this?  Can you imagine her response?

Now stop imagining – list out the Top 3 (go ahead and write them down) and make it happen.

If she asks you what the reason behind this is, let her know you’re just setting your priorities straight.

How’s that for a good start to the holiday season?

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A few years back, I had a colleague at work who constantly complained about everything (yes I do mean everything).

It seemed that every day, he complained about his boss, the weather, the copy machine, the “rich getting richer”, his wife, his kids, his neighbors, his job, etc. – you get the picture.

Whenever he called me or stopped by, I knew he had something to complain about.

He had what I call the negativity virus.

Symptoms of the negativity virus include:

• seeing anything from a negative standpoint all the time
• complaining instead of coming up with solutions for things you could control
• complaining for things out of your control
• whining and complaining to others about stuff outside of their control
• not appreciating life and all it has to offer
• not being thankful

As we approach the Thanksgiving season, it’s important to recognize these symptoms. 

My colleague ended up not only losing his job, he lost his family.  The family broke up after the divorce and he lost his home as well.

Let me be clear – I am not saying that his negativity virus actually directly caused all of this to happen.  I just know that the negativity virus blocked his opportunity to prosper.

Another way to say this is that positive things happen to positive people. 

Negative people don’t “see” positive things.  They ignore them or consider them negative – and with that – they attract truly negative things.

How to combat the negativity virus

During conversations, I would plead with him to please begin to look at the bright side of things.  I articulated the power of positive thinking and most importantly, the need to be thankful and appreciate all we are blessed with.

I also noted that as a family dad, his words were hurting rather than building those around him.

His response was that he couldn’t do any of that.  He said he needed to be himself and “tell it like it is – like it or not”.  His negativity was only made worse by his stubbornness.

After a while, I moved on.  He would call me once in a while. 

Once I sensed the negativity creeping into the conversation, I’d make an excuse to end the call. 

I didn’t want to catch that negativity virus.

I learned that the best way to combat it is to stay away from it.  It will drain away your energy, ambition and motivation.

Instead, surround yourself with positive people.  Positive people will provide support, encouragement, and most all be thankful for what they have. 

As a family dad, set the example and encourage your family to be this way.  Banish negative self-talk and self-defeatist thinking from your household.

Stop negativity on its tracks and master the art of living thankfully and positively inspiring those you touch every day.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

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As a family dad, there are certain times in your life where you must make critical decisions.  These decisions will impact the quality of your life as well as the lives of those in your organization (yes your family).

If you find yourself in one of those situations now, one simple solution can help you make sure you continue on your prosperous path.

Turn it off!

If you think about it, from the time you wake in the morning until the time you actually get back to sleep, you are inundated with noise. 

This noise comes in the form of the things we enjoy – radio, ipod, TV, internet – basically, everything that entertains, informs, or just zones us out.

How can we make the right decision if we are constantly being bombarded?

How can we ensure our decisions will be correct for our family and for our community?

The answer for both is that we cannot unless we turn it all off.

Here are some things to do to make it happen:

Mark the time you’ll need.  I suggest anywhere between 2 days and a week’s time.  Frankly, if this is the first time you’re doing this, aim for the 2 days because you will not be accustomed to the quiet.  If you could do more days, great, but set your expectations low to start off with.

The only noise you may have is from the alarm clock to wake you.  When you wake up, be thankful and start getting ready for the day. 

Don’t turn on the radio or TV.  Negative news will always be there – it can wait a few days.

Embrace the quiet.

Hear yourself thinking.  Allow yourself to envision the solution.  Pray – ask God to help you identify His Will to make the correct decision.

Continue to do this as you drive to your destinations.  If you can, take off from your regular schedule (this is not a must though).

A must is to just listen – at work, in the gym, in the park, everywhere you go.

When you get back home, make a point to stay away from “the box” (TV) and from going online.

Instead, continue in the quiet.  Read, meditate, ask, pray.  Do what your gut tells you.

In the process, you’ll notice things you haven’t noticed before.

You’ll feel refreshed, even inspired.

You will gain new perspectives, see things in a new light – you may start getting ideas and insights. You may even get to feel God nudging you. 

You actually may start to like it so much that you decide to do this more often – like every 3 months.

That’s what happened to me.

You see, important decisions will always need to be made, but a family dad who chooses to listen in the quiet will always be one step ahead on the road to prosperity.

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